Back on the Race I used to write lots of blogs. Blogs about what God is teaching me. Blogs about the hard times. Blogs about the amazing experiences. They weren't well written or too insightful but they allowed me to process. I sometimes processed when I didn't know I even needed to process.
Yesterday I brought my journal to church so I could take notes that would be permanent rather than thrown away at the end of the service or the next time I cleaned out my purse. As I flipped through the pages I was reminded about what I went through this past year. Sometimes it's so easy to forget. It's easy to forget that this time last year I was in Montenegro gardening, cooking and carving pumpkins at the English Cafe. It's easy to forget that just a few months ago I was going to the bar every night with Hope (literally and figuratively) and Mel praying that our new friends would understand how much God loved them. It's easy to forget the many lessons God taught me...or how He taught them to me...or maybe that's just me selectively forgetting those times. :)
Brandon and I were hanging out before we went to dinner last night and I started talking about Phuket and Diamond and going to the bar. An hour passed and I was still talking. I didn't even realize it had been that long...it had felt like 10 minutes. Then I realized something. I don't really write anymore. I don't really blog, I don't really journal...at some point I just stopped. I know that God is still teaching me things and I'm still processing but I remember how I felt on the Race when I would finish a blog and think, aaahhh....it feels so good to get that out. Even if nobody reads it or even cares, I was able to express myself, think through things that were going on and really understand them. It's kind of like you really understand something when you teach them to somebody...I can really understand what I'm going through when I can write it out for other people to read.
So here's to me being intentional. To really write and learn and process. Enjoy. :)
Monday, October 11, 2010
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